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Jun 09, 2020


The sleek train of my emotions pulled almost silently into, what I thought, was the next station along the line of my journey through grief … for just the other day God had whispered… “grief is not a permanent destination, it is a station of life to move through!”
So, on August 1, (the anniversary of the day before Wayne was admitted to the hospital), the tears came in constant waves. Therefore, when August 6 arrived (the day we removed him from the breathing machine), I thought, “I don’t feel teary-looks like this will be easier than I thought!”
Then, just like a train idles, as it waits for the signal to move ahead, the physical symptoms settled in and released…h-s-s-s-s… nausea, light-headiness, dizziness. Not enough to keep me from moving, but enough to s-l-o-w me down and they c-h-u-g-g-e-d forward…without speed… for over a week!
I moved into a paraphrased prayer from...

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Darling You Left Without...

May 09, 2020

I am a firm believer that hugs and kisses must be exchanged before heading out the door.  Why? Because our next breath is not promised! Having said that, I thought all bases were covered. However, I was wrong. We kissed and hugged that morning before heading off to our occupations. We met at home, embraced and headed off to dinner with Deonte, his grandson. Now, seven months on the other side of Wayne’s life.  I realized that amidst the quickness in which he took his last unassisted breath – he was not able to say goodbye! That fact smacked me in the face! And I was totally unaware and unprepared for the fresh new flow of tears while watching “60 Minutes.” They were covering a story regarding a prison in Africa where all of the inmates were singing. One of the guards, whose wife had died unexpectedly, wrote and sang a song entitled, “You Left Without Saying Goodbye.”

Too often, what-ifs began to pop into my head, and, if I allowed them...

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Levels of Acceptance

Apr 09, 2020


Your own ears will hear him.

Right behind you, a voice will say,

“This is the way you should go,” whether to the right or to the left.“  

Isaiah 30:21 NLT


In the wee hours of the morning, I was awakened by a soft sound. I listened… straining to hear anything else out of the ordinary… I did not hear anything at all except the occasional sound of a tractor-trailer on I -66. Since I was awake, I walked to the bathroom and, out of nowhere, the vision of Wayne exploded before my eyes… the deep purple color shooting up his neck cutting off all his oxygen.  NO! I thought I will not be able to go back to sleep! But, instead of perseverating, I took a deep breath, and then I heard, “Whatever is pure, lovely, and holy,...

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Holden And Releasing

Mar 04, 2020

Day two of seven, my annual beach trip with my old bestie.
As the sun broke from behind a cloud, I felt the fog lift and the proverbial numbness dissipate!

For absolutely, what seemed like an eternity, I had felt as if I was driving at night after a very sudden rainstorm that had cooled the atmosphere quickly, but, the residual ground heat had produced a “rolling, thick fog!” Some moments everything was clear and visibility was great, the next moment I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face, figuratively speaking.  Moving in and out of the fog of my emotions was getting on my nerves! This has been going on since June 29, 2019!

As the soft breeze on Holden Beach intensified and blew the mental haze away, I was able to relate my sentiments to the year 1971- when I was prescribed the antidepressant Stelazine after miscarrying our second baby (during my seventh month of pregnancy- her life actually ended during my fifth month of pregnancy.) I went from crying all...

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Jan 15, 2020

I was being introduced by someone who not only knew me well but had walked with me through some painful and troubling times! My heartbeat quickened, my hands were cold, however, my knees felt strong. As I approached the microphone to speak, my voice was audible (more than a whisper, thank you, Jesus). As I reached for the microphone, I felt the Presence of the Holy Spirit! I looked around the room that was full of women -all who had come to hear how beauty resolves from ashes!

The following scripture is very clear and descriptive and has a promise within it: “To grant those who mourn in Zion. Giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning. The mantel of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So, they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” NASB Isaiah 61:3
I looked slowly around the room and identified a few pairs of eyes that looked more moist and mournful than the others. Then I said,...

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Transformed to Speak Life…Derailed

Dec 04, 2019

Psalm 139: 1-5
“Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.”


He held my hand and looked pleadingly into my eyes as he said. “You can take me out of this Hell Hole! I know you can!” He pulled hard at the wrist restraints that the nurse had applied; and it made him all the madder that they didn’t release, not one little bit. He had been given enough medication to put a horse down and he was not relaxed in any way! This man was not the sweet man I knew!
It was July 2, 2004, and I paced the floor of the ICU. Ruben Joseph Daggett, my seconded husband, had been admitted to the hospital just four days before with pneumonia, in both lungs, and he was not getting...

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Grace Builds a Bridge

Nov 06, 2019

Dear Reader,
Recently, I have spoken with many people who are dealing with the never-ending “whack-a-mole” of unforgiveness!
Therefore, I decided to share a story that moved me to another level of grace and a peace (a gift from Jesus!) that truly passes all understanding. Read. Reflect. Respond.

“Grace Builds a Bridge of Forgiveness’”
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you!
Ephesians 4:32 NIV

I read the words over and over again but, I remained righteously indignant and hurt to the bone!!
We had been divorced all of four months and “things had gone to Hell in a handbasket,” as the ole folks would say!  I held onto my pain and suffering like a precious gemstone.
It was not until I wished a terrible fate to come upon him that The Holy Spirit so violently conflicted me, that I fell immediately to my knees. “Lord Help Me!” I cried. “Lord, I do not know how to...

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